Making it happen

Do you ever have tension in your life? A little internal conflict or struggle perhaps? I do. Right now there's probably a lot of it in my life, but who said that life is simple or makes sense? The questions could just keep coming and coming...

I suppose tension is a natural and maybe even healthy part of life that reminds us that we need to find balance, avoiding the extremes.

So that's all vague enough. One specific area that's on my mind frequently, if not constantly, is this tension I feel between the call of the wild, the mountain, the great outdoors, and adventure of God's beautiful creation contrasted with my desire to have close, meaningful relationships with friends and family. I'm nearing that crossroads where I decide to move away or decide to stay (I guess go back since I'm currently in CO). And I'm feeling it. Really feeling it. I wonder if there's a right decision. Does God really care? Doesn't he care about us learning to love Him more? Does it really matter where I do that from, or where I work? Does he really care if I work in a hospital, a clinic, people's homes, a gym, a school? Does he care if I'm in Washington or WI or CO or Idaho or Canada or in an inner city somewhere? Can't I represent Him anywhere?

So being away has me lonely. It's not a constant feeling, but it's certainly far more present than when I'm in WI. I guess I have a lot more free time here. The freedom to do what I want, sort of. I can do what I want, but most of the time I'll have to do it alone. I can't be with people anytime I want, which I can often do in Madison.

I've had to fight that inertia of once I get home from work, just sitting around, eating, turning on the TV (darn cable TV!), and incessantly checking email (darn wireless internet at home). Just sitting around gets me feeling down pretty fast, especially watching TV. Other people don't seem to share that drain from the Tube, but I do. So I'm trying to get out and do things and make those first awkward attempts to get connected, to get plugged in, to make a difference in my life and the lives of others. So I've been doing some form of exercise each day. I called Habitat for Humanity to see if I can volunteer there a time or two before I leave. I went (ALONE) to the "Door" which was an amazing young adult service at Canyonview Vineyard Church here in Grand Junction...and I was blessed for going. God's speaking to me. I guess God requires us to do a little in order for Him to move. The faith of a mustard seed. Faith is evident by action, so I'm trying to step out and get outside of myself somewhat.

So apart from going to the Door tonight, I also drove up to the Grand Mesa, the flat top mountain here, to see if I could find some snow. I heard rumors that it was snowshoe-able. Is that a word. Sure enough it was. It was a further step to trying to get out of the funk I've been in. It was beautiful, pristine, quiet, so quiet. God and I had a good chat. Of course, I wanted to share some photos with you.

Above: Blue, dry skies giving way to clouds half way through my trouncing.

Below: A solitary "flower" in the snow

Above: Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. It started snowing and blowing pretty good as I headed back. My green fleece was not so green anymore. I can't believe that I got to play in all this snow in October and then drive back down to non-snow life in Grand J. Pretty sweet.